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POOKIE BEAR
Gabriel went quiet for a while, then suddenly grinned, as if seriousness made him uncomfortable.
“Pookie Bear!” he yelled.
“What?” I said.
“You’re my Pookie Bear!”
“Where did that come from? And puki is a Filipino word for vagina.”
“I don’t care, and I’m not from the Philippines. From now on, you’re my Pookie Bear.”
“Okay, I think it’s oddly cute. Then you’re my Pookie Face!”
During the first rush of love, Gabriel gives James a nickname neither man will ever quite escape.
THE JIAN BIRD
An old Chinese legend gives James and Gabriel a way to imagine the life they might build together.
“Do you know the story of the Jian bird?” Gabriel asked.
“Nope,” I said.
“It’s from an old Chinese legend. It’s about a bird born with one wing and one eye. It can’t fly on its own. It has to find another bird with one wing and one eye. Only then can they fly.”
“That sounds familiar."
“Maybe that’s us.”
For a moment, I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t stop smiling. Then I said, “Let’s never land.”
“Something like that,” he said.
I reached across the table and took his hand.
“Then let’s not let go,” I said.
He squeezed my hand. “I’m not planning to.”
YOU WERE TRACKING ME
One of their darkest exchanges occurs when Gabriel discovers that James has secretly monitored his phone
“You’re tracking me,” Gabriel said. “You’ve been recording all the activity on my phone. My life is on your phone.”
“How long, James?”
“Months,” I said finally.
“So, every time I told you where I was, every time I came home, you already knew everything I did that day.”
“I needed to know. I needed to be sure.”
“Of what? That I was behaving? That I was meeting your conditions? Or that I’d eventually fail so you could feel justified?”
His voice dropped. “You don’t trust me. Not even now.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I said. “You taught me that.”
“And you think this makes us safer? Because from where I’m standing, it just means I never know who I’m really talking to.”